This one’s for the Men!
(But I suppose the women can read it too :-) Ok guys, I’ll put some stuff in
here for the gals to listen to as well. LOL)
Gentlemen, I will never claim to be an expert on dealing with women. Just ask my wife! :-) I am not the “perfect husband” and our marriage has had problems, but we have been happily married for 40 years. So I do have some longevity, and I’ve got a pretty good grasp on how to make a woman happy and how to prolong the love, respect, friendship, and passion in your marriage. So, allow me to share some insight and wisdom with you.
Before we can really begin to explore just what it is we need to do for our women, and how to treat them, the best place to start is in the Word of God. In Ephesians 5:22-33 Paul tells us “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
That’s allot to take in isn’t it? Let me break it down. First Paul tells us that wives are to submit to their husbands just as the Church submits to Christ. This means that wives are to show honor and respect to their husbands, but they are not expected to live in fear or under any form of abuse. The man is the head of the household. That is our rightful, God-appointed place. However, this does not mean women are to cower to us or be silent, whipped puppies. Paul is telling us here that the man is supposed to be the Head of the Household and the Spiritual Leader for the family. I believe a man must also show his wife honor and respect as well. A marriage between man and wife should be an “us against the world” mentality. Nothing, and no one, should be able to separate one from the other either in word, deed, or thought. Patty has been an amazing wife, and I depend on her solely as my equal, but she does respect and honor me and ultimately I am the leader in our home as we both submit to God.
Spiritual needs – It is the Man’s responsibility to be Head of the Home and that includes being the anchor and the leader in worship and prayer. Wow! This can be intimidating right? My friend, it does not need to be. Take her hand and say grace out loud. Simple prayers are ok. The thing your family needs to see is you honoring and abiding in God’s presence. You are the example for your family. You must live right and be a good example for them. Learn to live under the covering of the Blood of Jesus and bask in His perfect love. This will help you have peace and comfort in your home.
You need to be in a good church. Pick one together. One you both can grow in and learn from. Patty and I grew up in different atmospheres. I was raised Pentecostal and she was raised Baptist. Those who’ve been to both know just how different those two denominations can be. :-) We searched for some time before we found a perfect church home for us. I can feel free to raise my hands in worship and I truly feel the Holy Spirit in our meetings which we both need too.
Emotional and physical needs - Don’t be afraid to show your love. Tell her you love her. Yes, more than just when you want sex! She needs (Did you GET THAT!!!) to feel a connection to you emotionally. Hold hands. It may seem silly to you, but I really enjoy holding my Sweetie’s hand. And believe me, your girl will love you holding hands and walking together in public. She needs to hear you love her; she needs to feel your tender touch on her face; she needs to feel your loving hand on her shoulder or on her butt. :-) She needs and wants your touch and your love.
Patty is my very best friend and there is no one on earth I would rather spend my time with. A happy, strong, loving marriage is a two-way relationship. Both have to give and take, give-in, and take control, nurture, love, reprove, and build each other up. Be strong for one another, but you both can have your soft side, your gentle, loving side. Be fun, have fun, and be playful. Become true friends and enjoy each other’s company. Find ways to do nice things for each other. Maybe a note in the morning before you go to work. No, a grocery list or a cleaning list won’t do!!! :-) A sweet, loving note to tell her she’s beautiful, sexy, and you love her and can’t wait to get back to her arms. LADIES, we like notes too. And not just a “Honey Do” list either!!! :-)
You both should always try to be attractive for each other. Spend some time in the gym and stay fit. It helps you in so many ways. Do not allow yourself to become a “couch potato” just because you’ve got someone.
Forgiveness – You’re both going to do dumb things, be mean, you’re going to fight and say something you wish you hadn’t. That’s human nature (not good, but it is). Have a short memory. Ladies, please don’t hold it against us for days or weeks or years. We’re not very bright! Treat us like the little puppy that peed on the floor. Forgive us already! LOL Men, take the lead and apologize first. It must be sincere. Remind yourself if there is animosity and hurt it will only get worse if allowed to fester.
One more thing on this subject: Don’t be so sensitive (either of you) that you blow things out of proportion. Sorry if your feelings were hurt – get over it – forgive already! And don’t retaliate. Instead tell the other how what they did or said made you feel. Talk feelings guys. Your woman WILL understand.
Find ways to help around the home. Maybe you can load the dishwasher and she unloads - we do the other way – I unload :-). Help with the clothes. Make the bed. You serve her dinner. Even if you can’t cook you can do soup and sandwiches. Work it out. Help out. And when you do something helpful, don’t resent it or point it out to her. She’ll notice believe me.
Money - When we were in the AF we knew a few wives who ruined their husband’s careers because they spent too much. We must be good stewards of the resources God has given us to be in charge of and this includes your finances. Whichever of you is better with money and better able to actually use a budget is the one who should do it (Patty does ours). The big-ticket items you both need to agree on and ask God for His direction.
Prayer – while you’re praying for God to change her, let’s not forget about you! Pray for God to change you too. :-) When you pray, ask our Father to change you to be a better, more loving husband (and father) and ask Him to change her the way He wants her and needs her to be. (Did you get that?! The way HE wants her and needs her – NOT you. God knows what's best for you both.) Pray for strength, wisdom, and courage to be the Man-of-God He designed you to be. We can’t just go to God with a laundry list of things we want changed in our marriage or spouse. We have to put allot of effort into ourselves, our marriage, and relationship.
Listening and Talking - Words: They KILL love and relationships! Proverbs 18:21a says “Death and life are in the power of the tongue. …” and Proverb 15:1 says “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” Never say something you wish you could take back – You can’t. Do not call her stupid, fat, dumb, lazy, etc… In raising my family I never used curse words or foul language in front of them and I never called my children dumb or stupid. I did not belittle them or tell them to shut up. I would tell them to “be quiet” and on occasion I told them “that was a dumb thing you did,” but I never made it a personal attack. You should never curse or use foul language when talking to, or in front of, your wife and children! Be respectful of your family. Treat them the way you expect others to treat them.
Do not go to bed angry. One time Patty and I were having a terrible fight and I tried to go to bed while we were still fighting. She did not let me and we worked it out before we went to sleep. If you go to bed mad, angry, hurt, resentful, etc… you won’t get much sleep anyway and the feud will just get bigger and worse. Work it out!
Listen to her when she’s talking to you. If she’s a stay-at-home-Mom you may be the only adult, half-sane person she gets to talk to all day.
NEVER put your hands on a woman or a child in anger. A man who abuses a woman or a child is scum, a bully, and a coward! And let’s be perfectly clear: Abuse can be physical, sexual, or emotional. No one has the “right” to abuse another person. I don’t care if you have to walk out of the room or the house – leave if you must. But let me tell you, if you have that kind of anger issues you need Jesus in your life and you need some help.
Respect – Treat your woman like a Lady. Open doors for her - even when no one else is looking :-). Get around the car and open the door. So what if you get a little wet! Pull out her chair for her and help her get under the table. Hold her coat for her. Believe me guys she will appreciate it and notice. And bonus – when you do these things for her in public it demonstrates to all the other women there that you love her and have a special bond with her. Might not mean too much to you, but Oh Man! does that mean something to her!
Sex –We are to enjoy each other. God made man and woman to procreate, but he also made it so that we find pleasure in each other. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable and a time for a man and woman to get closer in their emotional relationship as well as the physical. It may seem like a cliché, but your woman really does have to be in the right mood. Women like to be hugged and cuddled. Sorry guys, but I have to agree with the women here: it does not start in the bedroom. It starts in the morning with the way you greet each other. Your words (yep, again with the words) can help her get into the mood or can just as quickly kill any mood she may have. She needs to feel a connection to you emotionally. A woman needs to know you find her attractive. You need to tell her how beautiful and sexy she is. And NOT just when you want to have sex. She needs to know you find her attractive and desirable all the time.
Ask your wife what she likes and what she doesn’t like. She needs, and wants, to have a physical release just as you do. Believe me, if she’s enjoying herself then you will too. If she tells you she does not like something, don’t try to force her to like it or do it. Tell her how you feel too. Never try to introduce something into your bed you both don’t agree on. AND NEVER try to get her to agree to another sex partner. That will destroy the sanctity of your marriage and it is disrespectful to your wife and to God who designed us to be one man and one woman – just like the verse in Ephesians above, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’” One thing I do that you may find very odd, but I pray and rejoice to God when I’m having sex (no, not out loud). :-) I thank Him for this beautiful, sexy woman He has blessed me with and I thank Him for our time together. Bonus – I find when I do this, things are much more enjoyable for us both. :-) Also, it’s not like He doesn’t see you anyway.
Ok Ladies your turn. :-) Take the lead sometimes. We DO NOT mind if you initiate sometimes too. :-) Men are visual creatures. We like to see things. So, wear something sexy and cute. Doesn’t need to be slutty or vulgar, but something that makes us appreciate what we’re seeing (or not seeing). Also, we like to know we’re doing a “good job.” Tell us what you like and what you need. Again, you don’t have to be dirty or vulgar, but guide us in how to please you. After all, “this one’s for you!” LOL :-)
PORNOGRAPHY - Men, there is no place in your marriage, your mind, or your eyes for pornography. It perverts the mind and distorts reality. This will destroy your appreciation for your wife and it can lead to you not finding pleasure with her anymore. It is also disrespectful to her and a sin before God.
One last thing about sex I must address is this: A man (or woman) should never have to “earn” sex. It is not a prize one must earn or that can be “cut off,” but a symbol of love which two people enjoy and through which your relationship grows and becomes stronger. There may be times when you feel the need to refrain from having intimate relations, but you should talk about it and agree on it.
TV - Separate TVs, separate rooms to watch TV in? Really? We only have one TV in our house. We decide together what to watch. Yes, there is some give-and-take, but we work it out. Men, you DO NOT have to watch every single football, basketball, baseball, etc… game on TV! Choose a couple a week (no, not from each sport!). You’ve got ESPN. Spend time with your wife. We decided long ago we did not want a TV in our bedroom. Also, do not allow anyone or anything on your TV that you would not actually “invite” into your home to spend time with you and your family. Get the picture? If it’s vulgar, disgusting, against God, Jesus, the Bible, the Holy Spirit banish it from your home. There are so many wholesome, family-friendly programs available you and your family do not have to watch filth. Don’t let TV teach your children bad morals and take away from the hard work you, your wife, and God put into them. Also, again it goes back to the example you’re setting for them.
Don’t allow anything into your home you both don’t agree on. That goes for movies, music, TV, other people, etc… Anything that will cause division between you, or in your family, needs to be left outside in the world. Your home should be a sanctuary for you, your wife, and your children. Protect it and them.
Gifts and Travel - Do not kill yourself for money. If you can get by and take some time to spend with your family, they really would rather have some time with you than a bigger, more expensive home. Go where you can afford to go. If you can’t afford to go to Jamaica or London, don’t go. There are so many awesome places in America we can go to. Some of the most amazing sights I’ve seen have been right here in the U.S. Take day trips or weekends. Get a tent and camp out. My family still laughs at me (I’m not a “camper” by ANY stretch of the imagination!), but we camped in Yellowstone and near Carlsbad caverns. Have fun and get out of the house. For gifts, again don’t spend more than you can afford. Believe me the kids do not need the most expensive shoes or clothes all the time. Or a brand new TV or computer. The old stuff will work just fine for another year. Make it a special treat to give them the best. If you can afford it, still make them earn things. A little hard work will do them good and show them the value of a dollar.
AND ---- Don’t take yourself so seriously! Have fun with your wife. She is the one you chose to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t you want it to be happy and fun? Don’t you???!!!
Here’s the last thing I need to say. Our marriage has not always been perfect, nor has it always been 100%, all-the-time, happy-happy-joy-joy, but we have never given up on each other. If you’re married, commit right now to staying with your spouse for the rest of your life. If you’re not married, decide BEFORE you get married if you’re willing and committed to this person enough to make it a lifetime commitment. If you do these things, and grow your love for one another over the course of your marriage, over the course of your lifetime, there will never be anyone else you would want to be with. Patty is the love of my life. She’s my best friend and I cannot imagine life without her. She is my “Endless Love.” I hope you’ve found (or will find) yours. :-)
Before we can really begin to explore just what it is we need to do for our women, and how to treat them, the best place to start is in the Word of God. In Ephesians 5:22-33 Paul tells us “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
That’s allot to take in isn’t it? Let me break it down. First Paul tells us that wives are to submit to their husbands just as the Church submits to Christ. This means that wives are to show honor and respect to their husbands, but they are not expected to live in fear or under any form of abuse. The man is the head of the household. That is our rightful, God-appointed place. However, this does not mean women are to cower to us or be silent, whipped puppies. Paul is telling us here that the man is supposed to be the Head of the Household and the Spiritual Leader for the family. I believe a man must also show his wife honor and respect as well. A marriage between man and wife should be an “us against the world” mentality. Nothing, and no one, should be able to separate one from the other either in word, deed, or thought. Patty has been an amazing wife, and I depend on her solely as my equal, but she does respect and honor me and ultimately I am the leader in our home as we both submit to God.
Spiritual needs – It is the Man’s responsibility to be Head of the Home and that includes being the anchor and the leader in worship and prayer. Wow! This can be intimidating right? My friend, it does not need to be. Take her hand and say grace out loud. Simple prayers are ok. The thing your family needs to see is you honoring and abiding in God’s presence. You are the example for your family. You must live right and be a good example for them. Learn to live under the covering of the Blood of Jesus and bask in His perfect love. This will help you have peace and comfort in your home.
You need to be in a good church. Pick one together. One you both can grow in and learn from. Patty and I grew up in different atmospheres. I was raised Pentecostal and she was raised Baptist. Those who’ve been to both know just how different those two denominations can be. :-) We searched for some time before we found a perfect church home for us. I can feel free to raise my hands in worship and I truly feel the Holy Spirit in our meetings which we both need too.
Emotional and physical needs - Don’t be afraid to show your love. Tell her you love her. Yes, more than just when you want sex! She needs (Did you GET THAT!!!) to feel a connection to you emotionally. Hold hands. It may seem silly to you, but I really enjoy holding my Sweetie’s hand. And believe me, your girl will love you holding hands and walking together in public. She needs to hear you love her; she needs to feel your tender touch on her face; she needs to feel your loving hand on her shoulder or on her butt. :-) She needs and wants your touch and your love.
Patty is my very best friend and there is no one on earth I would rather spend my time with. A happy, strong, loving marriage is a two-way relationship. Both have to give and take, give-in, and take control, nurture, love, reprove, and build each other up. Be strong for one another, but you both can have your soft side, your gentle, loving side. Be fun, have fun, and be playful. Become true friends and enjoy each other’s company. Find ways to do nice things for each other. Maybe a note in the morning before you go to work. No, a grocery list or a cleaning list won’t do!!! :-) A sweet, loving note to tell her she’s beautiful, sexy, and you love her and can’t wait to get back to her arms. LADIES, we like notes too. And not just a “Honey Do” list either!!! :-)
You both should always try to be attractive for each other. Spend some time in the gym and stay fit. It helps you in so many ways. Do not allow yourself to become a “couch potato” just because you’ve got someone.
Forgiveness – You’re both going to do dumb things, be mean, you’re going to fight and say something you wish you hadn’t. That’s human nature (not good, but it is). Have a short memory. Ladies, please don’t hold it against us for days or weeks or years. We’re not very bright! Treat us like the little puppy that peed on the floor. Forgive us already! LOL Men, take the lead and apologize first. It must be sincere. Remind yourself if there is animosity and hurt it will only get worse if allowed to fester.
One more thing on this subject: Don’t be so sensitive (either of you) that you blow things out of proportion. Sorry if your feelings were hurt – get over it – forgive already! And don’t retaliate. Instead tell the other how what they did or said made you feel. Talk feelings guys. Your woman WILL understand.
Find ways to help around the home. Maybe you can load the dishwasher and she unloads - we do the other way – I unload :-). Help with the clothes. Make the bed. You serve her dinner. Even if you can’t cook you can do soup and sandwiches. Work it out. Help out. And when you do something helpful, don’t resent it or point it out to her. She’ll notice believe me.
Money - When we were in the AF we knew a few wives who ruined their husband’s careers because they spent too much. We must be good stewards of the resources God has given us to be in charge of and this includes your finances. Whichever of you is better with money and better able to actually use a budget is the one who should do it (Patty does ours). The big-ticket items you both need to agree on and ask God for His direction.
Prayer – while you’re praying for God to change her, let’s not forget about you! Pray for God to change you too. :-) When you pray, ask our Father to change you to be a better, more loving husband (and father) and ask Him to change her the way He wants her and needs her to be. (Did you get that?! The way HE wants her and needs her – NOT you. God knows what's best for you both.) Pray for strength, wisdom, and courage to be the Man-of-God He designed you to be. We can’t just go to God with a laundry list of things we want changed in our marriage or spouse. We have to put allot of effort into ourselves, our marriage, and relationship.
Listening and Talking - Words: They KILL love and relationships! Proverbs 18:21a says “Death and life are in the power of the tongue. …” and Proverb 15:1 says “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” Never say something you wish you could take back – You can’t. Do not call her stupid, fat, dumb, lazy, etc… In raising my family I never used curse words or foul language in front of them and I never called my children dumb or stupid. I did not belittle them or tell them to shut up. I would tell them to “be quiet” and on occasion I told them “that was a dumb thing you did,” but I never made it a personal attack. You should never curse or use foul language when talking to, or in front of, your wife and children! Be respectful of your family. Treat them the way you expect others to treat them.
Do not go to bed angry. One time Patty and I were having a terrible fight and I tried to go to bed while we were still fighting. She did not let me and we worked it out before we went to sleep. If you go to bed mad, angry, hurt, resentful, etc… you won’t get much sleep anyway and the feud will just get bigger and worse. Work it out!
Listen to her when she’s talking to you. If she’s a stay-at-home-Mom you may be the only adult, half-sane person she gets to talk to all day.
NEVER put your hands on a woman or a child in anger. A man who abuses a woman or a child is scum, a bully, and a coward! And let’s be perfectly clear: Abuse can be physical, sexual, or emotional. No one has the “right” to abuse another person. I don’t care if you have to walk out of the room or the house – leave if you must. But let me tell you, if you have that kind of anger issues you need Jesus in your life and you need some help.
Respect – Treat your woman like a Lady. Open doors for her - even when no one else is looking :-). Get around the car and open the door. So what if you get a little wet! Pull out her chair for her and help her get under the table. Hold her coat for her. Believe me guys she will appreciate it and notice. And bonus – when you do these things for her in public it demonstrates to all the other women there that you love her and have a special bond with her. Might not mean too much to you, but Oh Man! does that mean something to her!
Sex –We are to enjoy each other. God made man and woman to procreate, but he also made it so that we find pleasure in each other. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable and a time for a man and woman to get closer in their emotional relationship as well as the physical. It may seem like a cliché, but your woman really does have to be in the right mood. Women like to be hugged and cuddled. Sorry guys, but I have to agree with the women here: it does not start in the bedroom. It starts in the morning with the way you greet each other. Your words (yep, again with the words) can help her get into the mood or can just as quickly kill any mood she may have. She needs to feel a connection to you emotionally. A woman needs to know you find her attractive. You need to tell her how beautiful and sexy she is. And NOT just when you want to have sex. She needs to know you find her attractive and desirable all the time.
Ask your wife what she likes and what she doesn’t like. She needs, and wants, to have a physical release just as you do. Believe me, if she’s enjoying herself then you will too. If she tells you she does not like something, don’t try to force her to like it or do it. Tell her how you feel too. Never try to introduce something into your bed you both don’t agree on. AND NEVER try to get her to agree to another sex partner. That will destroy the sanctity of your marriage and it is disrespectful to your wife and to God who designed us to be one man and one woman – just like the verse in Ephesians above, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’” One thing I do that you may find very odd, but I pray and rejoice to God when I’m having sex (no, not out loud). :-) I thank Him for this beautiful, sexy woman He has blessed me with and I thank Him for our time together. Bonus – I find when I do this, things are much more enjoyable for us both. :-) Also, it’s not like He doesn’t see you anyway.
Ok Ladies your turn. :-) Take the lead sometimes. We DO NOT mind if you initiate sometimes too. :-) Men are visual creatures. We like to see things. So, wear something sexy and cute. Doesn’t need to be slutty or vulgar, but something that makes us appreciate what we’re seeing (or not seeing). Also, we like to know we’re doing a “good job.” Tell us what you like and what you need. Again, you don’t have to be dirty or vulgar, but guide us in how to please you. After all, “this one’s for you!” LOL :-)
PORNOGRAPHY - Men, there is no place in your marriage, your mind, or your eyes for pornography. It perverts the mind and distorts reality. This will destroy your appreciation for your wife and it can lead to you not finding pleasure with her anymore. It is also disrespectful to her and a sin before God.
One last thing about sex I must address is this: A man (or woman) should never have to “earn” sex. It is not a prize one must earn or that can be “cut off,” but a symbol of love which two people enjoy and through which your relationship grows and becomes stronger. There may be times when you feel the need to refrain from having intimate relations, but you should talk about it and agree on it.
TV - Separate TVs, separate rooms to watch TV in? Really? We only have one TV in our house. We decide together what to watch. Yes, there is some give-and-take, but we work it out. Men, you DO NOT have to watch every single football, basketball, baseball, etc… game on TV! Choose a couple a week (no, not from each sport!). You’ve got ESPN. Spend time with your wife. We decided long ago we did not want a TV in our bedroom. Also, do not allow anyone or anything on your TV that you would not actually “invite” into your home to spend time with you and your family. Get the picture? If it’s vulgar, disgusting, against God, Jesus, the Bible, the Holy Spirit banish it from your home. There are so many wholesome, family-friendly programs available you and your family do not have to watch filth. Don’t let TV teach your children bad morals and take away from the hard work you, your wife, and God put into them. Also, again it goes back to the example you’re setting for them.
Don’t allow anything into your home you both don’t agree on. That goes for movies, music, TV, other people, etc… Anything that will cause division between you, or in your family, needs to be left outside in the world. Your home should be a sanctuary for you, your wife, and your children. Protect it and them.
Gifts and Travel - Do not kill yourself for money. If you can get by and take some time to spend with your family, they really would rather have some time with you than a bigger, more expensive home. Go where you can afford to go. If you can’t afford to go to Jamaica or London, don’t go. There are so many awesome places in America we can go to. Some of the most amazing sights I’ve seen have been right here in the U.S. Take day trips or weekends. Get a tent and camp out. My family still laughs at me (I’m not a “camper” by ANY stretch of the imagination!), but we camped in Yellowstone and near Carlsbad caverns. Have fun and get out of the house. For gifts, again don’t spend more than you can afford. Believe me the kids do not need the most expensive shoes or clothes all the time. Or a brand new TV or computer. The old stuff will work just fine for another year. Make it a special treat to give them the best. If you can afford it, still make them earn things. A little hard work will do them good and show them the value of a dollar.
AND ---- Don’t take yourself so seriously! Have fun with your wife. She is the one you chose to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t you want it to be happy and fun? Don’t you???!!!
Here’s the last thing I need to say. Our marriage has not always been perfect, nor has it always been 100%, all-the-time, happy-happy-joy-joy, but we have never given up on each other. If you’re married, commit right now to staying with your spouse for the rest of your life. If you’re not married, decide BEFORE you get married if you’re willing and committed to this person enough to make it a lifetime commitment. If you do these things, and grow your love for one another over the course of your marriage, over the course of your lifetime, there will never be anyone else you would want to be with. Patty is the love of my life. She’s my best friend and I cannot imagine life without her. She is my “Endless Love.” I hope you’ve found (or will find) yours. :-)